They look nothing like in the movies.
Real fights usually follow a “script” with four distinct stages:
Stage 1: Jump to Reputation
For a fight to happen, the “issue” that started the argument must “jump” to a totally different issue.
It starts with something minor (accidental bump, funny look, minor comment). Then it “jumps” from the original issue to the reputation and respect of each person.
People don’t fight because someone stepped on their shoe.
They will fight, though, to:
- Look tough in front of friends.
- Not look weak in front of a spouse or partner.
- Not have their self-esteem crushed.
(Note: People oftentimes say, “They were fighting over something stupid.” Don’t be fooled. They weren’t fighting about the stupid thing. They were fighting for their reputation and respect).
Stage 2: Barking
Most people think Stage 2 is a fight.
It isn’t.
In Stage 2, people:
- Yell
- Cuss
- Make a big scene
They don’t actually hit each other, though.
Stage 3: Final Warning
Most fights have a final warning before the violence starts:
- Shoving or chest bumping
- Removing jackets, watches, necklaces
- Hitting objects
Stage 4: Fight
This is where the real fighting happens, when people:
- Hit each other
- Kick each other
- GET HURT
What’s my point?
As a staff member, you should handle each of the four stages differently.