Homeless teenager: “How old are you?”
Ryan: “How old do you think I am?”
Teenager: “Ummm… 35?”
Ryan: “Close. I’m 28.”
Teenager: “Oh sh*t! I only said 35 to be polite. I really thought you are in your late 40’s!!!!”
This conversation was 19 years ago.
I was talking to a group of teens in our family shelter.
Like a shiver of sharks, they tasted blood in the water. (“Shiver” is the technical name for a group of sharks).
The other teens piled on.
“It is probably because you’re bald,” one said.
“Or because your beard is already turning white,” added another.
I felt my body tense up.
I wanted to call them “snot nosed kids.”
I wanted to remind them they too would be “old” someday.
I wanted to strike back for mocking me.
Instead, I took a deep breath and said as blandly as I could, “Yup. Or it could be that I dress like my grandfather.”
The teens had strange looks on their faces.
They were expecting me to fight back.
They were expecting me to get angry.
They were not expecting me to be indifferent to their teasing.
Their expressions turned to boredom, and they moved on to another topic.
My favorite tool for groups of teens: BE BORING
My favorite tool for handling mocking teens is to “be boring.”
It ruins the game.
Teasing you is only fun as long as they can get under your skin and get a reaction.
Remove your reaction and you remove their fun.
The easiest way to do this is to be indifferent to their taunts.
In a monotone voice (and with no facial expression), say “Yup” and move the conversation onto something else.
If you want to take it a step further, you can add a pinch of self-deprecating humor.
It proves that they aren’t getting under your skin.
Note: With teens, humor should always be self-deprecating. Trying to be funny at their expense backfires when they feel humiliated in front of their friends.
This week’s training is part 3 of our series on teens. It is about how to handle groups of teens.
Have a great week!
Peace,
Ryan