The world is not as simple as we would like it to be.
We think we can neatly separate people into “victims” and “persecutors.”
Unfortunately, humans are messy:
“Victims” often victimize other people.
“Persecutors” often are victims of something.
Social workers even have a phrase for this: “Hurt people hurt people.”
This truth makes people very uncomfortable.
And yet:
- Students who go home to domestic violence or child abuse are more likely to be bullies at school (Fraga, et. al., 2021).
- Children who experience physical, psychological or sexual abuse are more likely to commit intimate partner violence (Li, et. al., 2020).
- Children who are sexually abused may be more likely to commit a sex crime later in life (Drury, et. al., 2019).
Someone who is a victim in one situation can be a perpetrator in another.
What’s my point?
My point is NOT that victimization shouldn’t be stopped or that people shouldn’t be held accountable for their actions.
But we do real damage when we oversimplify something to the point of inaccuracy:
- A policy based on a “good” side and a “bad” side usually lacks the nuance necessary to be a good policy.
- When someone tries to sell you a story of victims-who-can-do-no-wrong and perpetrators-who-can-do-no-right, ask yourself what the story leaves out.
People are messy.
We can be cruel, violent, brutish and arrogant.
But we can also be kind, gentle, self-sacrificing, and humble.
Our ability to get along on this rock flying through the cosmos depends on our ability to remember that.
Have a great week!
Peace,
Ryan
CITATIONS
Drury, et. al., Childhood sexual abuse is significantly associated with subsequent sexual offending: New evidence among federal correctional clients. Child Abuse & Neglect, Volume 95, September 2019.
Fraga, et. al., Household dysfunction is associated with bullying behavior in 10-year-old children: Do socioeconomic circumstances matter? J Interpers Violence. 2021 Nov 16:37(15-16).
Li, et. al., A meta-analysis of childhood maltreatment and intimate partner violence perpetration. Aggression and Violent Behavior, Vol. 50. Jan-Feb 2020